:)

friday morning i have to go to dr.juliens office. i didnt want to...i didnt know what to say to her....
for all of you that dont know, dr.julien is my dermatologist and last christmas she went on vacation to vermont with her family. they got into a really bad accident and she was the only one who survived in her family. Her husband and 3 kids died. my family has known them for quite some time and her kids were close to my little brother....

so anyway. i went to the office b/c i had to get a mole removed. so not only was i scared to see dr.julien for the first time since this all happened but i was also scared b/c i was getting a mole removed. so we go into the room...they numb my mole and after about a hr of waiting the nurses come in and tell my mom that dr.julien just isnt ready to see her. too many memories attached to my mom...so my mom steps out. so now im thinking to myself great not only am i going to have to see her alone i also dont have my mom in the room when im getting my mole removed. so she walks in...she looked great. then she tells me something that i couldnt believe. she tells me that her oldest son jeremy had a really big crush on me. so weird that shes telling me this.but im glad shes ok...if i was her i would want to kill myself...whats the point of living if u dont have your family...but thankgod shes doing alright

then afterwards i was supposed to go to west palm but the driving just didnt work out...too many things were happening. so i went with sam and kristy to get a jamiacan patty. then back to sams house and hung out there for a little while she packed and then we left b/c she had to leave:( im going to miss my sam sam. then me and kristy went to fridays and aaron and ossie met up with us...then to lauras...haha went to sunset park elementary...our famous spot. man that spot has so many memories attached to it. we drank and fun...then lauras cars battery died...then went to the pool and sergio came:( i got depressed...its so hard

then yesterday woke up at 11:15 from lauras went home showered and went to the theater to see drew in narnia...it was cute. then after left for west palm. there was really bad traffic b/c theres was a car that caught on fire...it was crazy. finally got to my cousins house at 6...left for the recital...saw krista dance...i havent seen her dance in a really long time...shes amazing...afterwards went to city place...nice and went to eat at some italian place...not very good at all...then left for home...got home around 1:45 and went straight to sleep...woke up at 12:30 and today is davies 50th bday...lol hes 50:) we're just going to be hanging around the house. annabella and roberto are coming later. and tomorrow the theater is throwing him a huge surprise party:) he has no idea.

this past couple of days have been really hard for me. i cant even begin to imagine when i only have a couple days left here rather than a month. its coming so close. and though im so excited, theres things here that are holding me back. i dont know...im having mixed feelings...i mean of course im going i just think its going to be a lot harder than i thought.